On getting a new carseat

By 4th July 2018 No Comments

Mikaere has outgrown his baby carseat. His torso is too long and his shoulders are too wide. But because he’s so floppy there are few things we need: it needs to recline, it needs lateral support. We’d also ideally like a rear facing, swivel seat that fits in the front seat.

We went up to Milton Keynes and met the special needs lady at the In Centre Car Safety place. There were exactly two seats that might work for Mikaere, and only one was in stock. Womp. We wanted to wait for the second to come in before we committed. So we waited and waited, and Mikaere grew longer and longer and eventually his shoulders just plain wouldn’t fit.

A few weeks after, we happened to be at our friends place, who also has a special needs child. They offered us their old car seat which Max has grown out of. A Britax Dualfix Römer. It swivelled, it was rear facing and it reclined. We knew the (crash free) history. Amazing. We were grateful for their generosity (because we’d at this point be getting a charity grant for a new seat that may or may not work. Either that or we’d very gratefully fall on the generosity of our family).

So we fitted it and off we went. Now, it’s not perfect. Because of the angle of our car seats (boo racer seats) Mikaere is uncomfortably sat almost leaning forward when rear facing, even when the seat is reclined (when it’s not reclined he topples forward). So we swivel it around to forward facing, which works better (but I cringe on the inside, I know how much worse it is to be in an accident with a forward facing car seat. I’ve seen that gif and I hate it).

Also, there’s no lateral support. There’s room to grow, for sure, but in the meantime it means he kind of crinkles in on himself. It means we use Ellie Ears to support his sides and a trunki to support his head, and it doesn’t work well with the helmet so we pull that off every time he goes into the car. It’s a bit of a faff. You can see how rubbish Mikaere’s posture is when he’s in it:

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a hundred times better than being in a too small car seat, and a thousand times better than some of the other car seats we’ve tried. We’re grateful (beyond grateful) to even have the seat we do. It’s just not the ideal carseat. It’s about 80% awesome.

When we’re in the world of trying to provide enough postural support to fend off the future risk of scoliosis, I have the fear. 80% awesome is about 15% less than I’d like.

The last option we’re looking at is the 2018 Kilppan Kiss 2 – the car seat we’re STILL waiting to come in.  It’s been hailed as the all supportive, all singing and dancing chair that might be appropriate for Mikaere. But we don’t want to buy it outright (at £450 a pop) over the internet in case it isn’t inappropriate. So, we’re waiting for it to be in stock at the In Car Safety Centre for us to try (they’re the UK stockists).  Except we’ve been waiting almost 9 months now. So frustrating. Another 6-8 weeks, they told us. It could be 6-8 weeks. It’s more likely to be another 6 months.

Do you know what else? It blows my mind that there isn’t a car seat service, or place that caters specifically for car seats for special needs children who require extra support. It blows my mind. Frustrating af.  Even if there was just in insert that would bump up the supportiveness of our current car seat, that would be excellent. Blah that that service doesn’t exist.

In the mean time we try to make it work, we do the best we can. I try not to get down on the idea that this something that neurotypical parents don’t have to worry about it – but I can’t help put feel they have an easier job it in regards to car seats. Hey ho. I’m trying really hard not to be too bitter. I guess I should practice grace? We have carseat that swivels. Its safe for Mikaere, and we were so lucky to have such generous friends….

It is all those things, and I am grateful for all those things, but I still feel very blah about carseats that aren’t fully supportive. Womp. The special needs life is already difficult, so things like this which require lots of money, some puzzling and lots of time calling places and talking to people add’s difficulty to an already complex life. Blaaaah is how I feel about that added difficulty. Still, onwards we go.

Ps – our OT did some investigating and there is a charity that will do an hour long assessment to help you fit a car seat… for the heavily discounted cost of £150.  Wooomp. And that’s just for the assessment! That doesn’t include I’m sure any travel times, fitting costs or extra whats-its that we’re going to need. Did I mention that we’re a one salary family now because I had to give up my job to care for Mikaere?! How are are meant to afford all this extra stuff?

Leave a Reply