On cancelling

By 28th July 2018 No Comments

Ahhh. Before Mikaere I couldn’t understand people who flaked. People who would agree to a time and date and event and just not show or would make excuses or whatever – I really struggled to empathise. As a person, I might be late but I prioritise getting there. If I say I’m going to be there, I am.

Today Mikaere and I were set to see a friend and her sweet 6 month old baby. It had taken us month to pin down a date and it was going to be in a lovely pub with a beer garden and the weather forecast was set to perfect. Except that just before 7am we were woken by our night nurse. Mikaere had a temperature. His chest was junky. He had a cold.

Womp. Wooooooooooooommmmppp. The offshoot of this is the more seizures he has as his body attempts to fight it off. Which has the delightful second effect of more vomits as he can’t handle the secretions when seizing. So much vomit.

I hate this. Was it because we were at the hospital yesterday? Because we had friends with kids over for dinner? Was it the small boy who made a beeline for Mikaere’s buggy and touched him before anyone could stop him? Was it someone at Sam’s work? Was it a stranger while we were on one of our walks?  Was it because I’ve been a bit more lax with the sterilising? That I just washed his spoons in soapy water and didn’t run them through the steriliser? I did say recently that it would be nice to build up Mikaere’s immune system a bit more, do less sterilising, have him hang out with more kids…

I’d forgotten how hard colds are Mikaere. So I take that all back, fuck building an immune system if it’s going to be so difficult for Mikaere to fight through.

I hate this. I hate that he’s sick. Hate that we’re constantly cancelling (I’m so, so sorry to everyone we’ve cancelled on, and I’m so grateful for your understanding and grace). I hate that my boy struggles so. Mostly I hate NKH. Positively loathe it. (So much so that I put it on a t-shirt and I wear it frequently).

Hopefully this cold will roll on by in the next day or two, but we’re battening down the hatches till it’s on it’s way. Send us immune-boasting-get-better thoughts.

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