On Going into Day Ten

By 22nd November 2017 January 25th, 2018 No Comments

We’re now on Day 10 of this horrid virus. Ten days of suctioning, fever checking, horrific seizures, little to no sleep, housebound and one very sad little guy.

Here is what I want to nail home today: Kai has enterovirus – that’s what is causing the bronchiolitis.

Enterovirus is shared person to person by DIRECT contact. Which means that someone touched Kai without washing their hands first.

Sam and I are pretty religious about hand washing. If we’ve been out, before we touch anything we wash our hands. Before we touch Kai we wash our hands. Frequently throughout the day, we wash our hands and use antiseptic hand gel. Just because.

We are religious about this. For ourselves and for Kai. Our nurses and therapists are pretty good when they come in, and before handling or after nappy changes or anything that requires some sterility, like meds or suctioning.

But here is what I’m kicking myself over. Whenever we see anyone out and about, their instinct is to touch Kai. His hand, or his foot. He’s a beautiful baby and so many people just want to love on him.

And selfishly, I want them to love on him too. The more people that love on him the more impact he has on his little world (this still stems from The Fear of the inevitable, I’m sure of it).

But thinking back to two weeks ago when we were out and about at appointments and play dates and in the playground… when we had therapists and cleaners and workmen through our home, when we went to play sessions at the children’s centre…

When we were living life because I wanted to be a tiny bit more relaxed about the bubble we were living in now that Kai was a bit older.

Someone who probably didn’t even know they were infected touched Kai and now he’s suffering big time.

Oh my days the guilt I have. If I had been super strict about the bubble, would Kai still be ill? Would he be suffering right now?

Who knows. I hate that he’s ill, and there’s no magic anything to help. Even calpol isn’t working as well as we’d like.

Worse is the fear that he’s backsliding developmentally. Gone are the chats, sucking is gone, as is any large motor movement exploration. Sigh. I hate this. I hate that he’s so sick from what would be a cold and a runny nose in anyone else.

Please take this away: if you haven’t washed your hands, please don’t touch medically fragile children. Please just don’t.

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