We went to see Kai’s glade earlier this week. Tonight my toddler asked again why Kai had to die. Just, how. How are we here, without him?Those weeks leading up the end rotate in my thoughts, constantly. What else should we have done? Did we make good choices? Should we have made different ones? How. How how how how how are we HERE (I’m sobbing, my heart my heart my heart).
It doesn’t feel real, it doesn’t feel right. My insides are decimated, and yet, I still have to do all the things (showering and feeding the babes and laundry and riding the bus just… how is the world still going on?) Adjusting to this “new normal” is all kinds of horrific.
Anyway. I meant to say thank you to everyone who has signed up on the 10km walk (I don’t even know if I can walk that far, but I don’t think it matters. My hearts already broken and if my body is broken by a walk, well then). If you want to join me, please come. Come walk in honour of my boy with me, so I don’t need to walk by myself. You need to sign up by next Thursday (the 6th of Oct).
https://ift.tt/WgHi1kh
Honestly, I’m so broken. I’m absolutely broken without my boy. I’ve never hated NKH more than I do right now. 💔🐝 from Instagram: https://instagr.am/p/DAWpb_moYK5/
