Yesterday I got a remembrance bee in honour of my boy. I miss him, I miss him in a way that makes it hard to breathe, a hook under my chest that’s linked to him that makes THIS, this time and space without him unbearable, unmanageable, un-everything. Learning how to exist in this new normal without him is agony and I hate it (I always thought that I’d grieve differently, that I’d dance through life for him, in his honour, but honestly, there is no dancing. This is barely existing. This anguish is excruciating and I MISS HIM).
I feel better, having this bee. This way he’s with me (he’s always with me) and I’m grateful. For this outside always connection to him, something I can touch and carry with me. And for @whatjosiesaw, who got one too, and sorted all the details and lifted all of the load, making it so very easy (I appreciate you so much 💛 I also appreciate that time you gave Kaikai a temporary tattoo, making sure he was included and involved 💛). And I’m grateful to @nataliafineline, for inking the most delicate and perfect of bees.
Oh KaiKai. In your honour, my beautiful beautiful boy. Moe mai rā x from Instagram: https://instagr.am/p/DASp5RCoJId/
