Dear Kai

On the Head Shave

By 2nd March 2020 No Comments

WELL.  We hit £5,000 in our fundraiser, here:

So it was bound to happen, this head shaving business. I was nervous to begin with (because seriously: people have very strong ideas and gender norms/stereotypes around women and hair – I know this because several people tried to convince me NOT to shave my head – shame on them!) and I wasn’t sure how I would feel about shaving my hair. If I’m completely honest, I was mostly nervous about what my husband would think!

I hadn’t cut my hair since Feb 2014. It was long – mermaid length. Gareth, six foot ginger ninja stopped cutting his hair in 2015, back when he became a nomad. He has beautifully long, curly, red hair that makes him look a bit homeless when he doesn’t style it.

We agreed, one night over beers, that if we raised a certain amount for NKH Research, we’d shave it all off. Turns out our thresholds were quite low!

1. If we reached £1500, Elly and Gareth would both get number 2’s

2. If we reached £3000, Elly and Gareth would use razors, and be completely, 100% bald up top. (This turned out to be impossible, so we listened to the advice of the barbers and used the closest clippers we could possibly get).

3. If we reached £5000, Gareth would ALSO shave off his beard. Woah buddy!

Gareth and I did it together.  We donated all our locks to charity, so they can be donated into wigs (thats nice) and we held hands as our heads were shaved. Oh. My. Days!

I was unprepared for how freeing it would feel, and actually, how nice having your head shaved is (like a head massage, but nicer!)  Afterwards, my head was cold (I felt every single draft, even in a room with all the windows closed!) but I was surprised at how much I LOVED it! It feels incredibly tactile, and I can’t stop touching it.

So here we go – shaved head.  Thanks to everyone who donated, who cheered us on while we did it. Thank you to my partner in crime – Gareth – for shaving off his hair + beard with me, and for organising the barber from Flame and Steel (, who very kindly donated his time. I’m grateful! Thank you to every single person who donated.  Genuinely, thank you.

And I know I say it all the time – this thanking business – but I genuinely am. I’m beyond desperate for a cure for Mikaere. His seizures are daily. His vomits are awful. His quality of life is not even close to what we enjoy. When I go to bed at night, I’m not 100% sure that everything will be fine in the morning. That Mikaere will be with us, that he’ll be happy and able to move through his day. We live with uncertainty and grief and THE ONLY solution, the only long term, positive solution is research.

I have all my hope in the research. That it might, in Mikaere’s lifetime, be able to help him live a better life.

So with that desperation in mind, every donation feels personal. It brings us closer to a future with our kid, so yeah. Super personal. So THANK YOU again for all the support and love and donations.

If you’d like to donate – we’d love to have your support:

So yes. Shaved our heads. Done!


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